Had a power outage today … so many things that could have been done without power in that time but did not get done! I sat on the hill as Wayne painted the gazebo floor with its last coat of sealer before the café blinds arrive to turn it into a neat little outdoor room, for our neat little cane lounge to live, while my neat little – well actually rather large quilting frame - lives where the cane lounge used to. I had a glass of champagne in hand having just finished talking to a friend on the phone saying that I would have to stop drinking if I am to ever shed the heart attack waiting happen around my girth! I read the latest Harper Bizarre wondering where does fashion and philosophy meet and more importantly how can I ever reconcile the yearning fashions I have in my heart and will my dreams of running my own business ever come to fruition?
I lay back on the lawn after absorbing the French provincial inspired photo shoots included in this month’s Harper and stare dreamily up through the budding shoots of the Jacaranda that will later in the summer completely the shade the suburban pool dominating my backyard! I found myself questioning how long will it take, will I really be able to pull it off, can I really create my own business while I am working fulltime and unknowingly sacrificing my personal preferences in life for family unity? How can one combine city chic with classic country while living in suburbia? Can it really be done, how do ‘other’ people do it – they are so much more ‘arty’ than me, or is it than my partner – he’s not ‘arty’ at all, he does not suffer fools and makes choices based on rational notions never pure aesthetics, I wonder why he suffers me? Am I just looking to use others as my reason for not being where I dream of? Should dreams be only dreams?
The more books I read on starting my own business the further away I seem to find myself. They say jump in, just do it, once you have begun everything else will fall into place … will it? How will it? How do I really plan for it, if no one really takes you seriously, if I don’t actually have time or is it space? How do ‘other’ people seem to work 20hours a day without concern? I can’t function without 8 hours sleep, how will I get this to come together? Can I concentrate long enough on one topic to get this off the ground? Do I really have the talent or am I just kidding myself?
1 comment:
I promise, everything will fall into place.
And you don't need to work 20 hours a day.
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